8The Colbert Report
1Jansing and Co.
book is not the only thing that has captured the imagination of america. the country is gripped by the prospect that i will be appointed to replace jim demint in the us senate by south carolina governor nikki haley. [cheers and applause] and i am raking in the -- it's electric! and i am raking in the endorsements. for instance, when asked about my appointment with destiny senator john mccain recently said quote, "he would be a very valued member in that he seems to know everything about us, so he wouldn't have any trouble fitting in." [ laughter ] yes, i'd fit right into the senate. i love any job that has recess. [ laughter ] [cheers and applause] in fact, mccain and i are already engaging in some friendly joshing. >> john mccain, was asked what he would teach colbert if he landed the job. mccain jokingly answered quote, "how to shut up." [ laughter ] >> stephen: it's a joke, because he clearly can't make anyone shut up! [ laughter ] now mccain's wrong on one point. i don't know everything about the senate. so here now to educate me is my future former collegue, the distinguished gent
, bhutan in south asia makes public policy based on what they call the gross national happiness index. this story will make you smile especially if you're from latin america. it's up on our facebook page at facebook/jansingco. ♪ ♪ ♪ [ male announcer ] everyone deserves the gift of all day pain relief. this season, discover aleve. all day pain relief with just two pills. >>> vice president joe biden will meet with law enforcement officers from around the country today to try to find ways to tighten gun laws in the wake of newtown, connecticut. the vice president is leading a new task force to develop ideas to reduce gun violence by no later than next month. president obama announced the initiative at the white house yesterday. >> the fact that this problem is complex can no longer be an excuse for doing nothing. the fact that we can't prevent every act of violence does not mean we can't steadily reduce the violence and prevent the very worst violence. >> joining me now msnbc political analyst and former rnc chairman michael steele and nbc political analyst former democratic governor of
central and south america, a lot of people wear special underwear to ring in the new year. >> in brazil, they wear white and brand new underwear. i guess you want to start things off right. start fresh. >> i can sign on to this tradition. okay. don't get a close-up on me. i'm for new underwear. okay. what else? >> let's go to denmark, perhaps. people jump off chairs in unison at midnight. that's to rid people of negative spirits from the previous year. >> all right. >> good one. >> spain, natalie, you know about this one. we're going to show it. >> we're going to demo. it sounds easy to eat 12 grapes. it is not easy. >> do we have the chimes? >> we're going to do it. so 30 seconds on the clock, please. >> this should go well. >> are we going to hear this? [ chiming ] >> you can't even get them in your mouth. oh, my -- good work. >> thank you. this is what happens when you've been pounding campaign all night. you can't deliver a grape into your mouth at close range. >> i'm dead sober. how do they do this drunk? >> you littered the floor with grapes. >> i'm sorry. >> they did those
summerville, south carolina. hey, ali. >> happy new year's eve. >> please describe what america is going to see when you are up on the nivea stage, you and that cute husband of yours. what kind of kiss are we going to see? >> it's probably going to be tasteful. my husband and i are pretty modest, but, you know, we might make it special for once in a lifetime. you never know. we're keeping it a surprise. >> well, now, you haven't seen him in a while. isn't at the in the armed forces? >> he is in the military. he just had an obligation today that he had to take care of, but he will be on the stage for sure. yeah, he is military. sometimes it takes you away from home. he has been gone a lot. in about the four years that we've been married, six years in a relationship, and we've only lived together for about two months of that time. >> oh, wow. >> wow. >> so you are way backed up in the kissing department, right? >> this will be -- everyone tells us we're still in the honeymoon phase. four years after marriage, you know, no honeymoon. sounds good to me. >> we're going to expect firewor
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